Live Wholeheartedly

Well, well. Here I am, again. Once again feeling like I owe someone an apology for being so neglectful of this space. Myself, more than anything. Because this is my space, a space I carved out for me, to come and unload whatever is on my mind - and there has been A LOT on my mind. It would help for me to come here, purge my thoughts...but I just don't make the time for myself to do it. That is a shame, and something I deeply need to rectify. I tend to internalize my feelings way too much...which would come as a surprise to some, since I talk so much. I just tend to not let people peek into the dark and twisty of it all, most of the time. Not that I want to only be dark and twisty here (can you tell I love Grey's Anatomy? I'm so unoriginal!), and not that all my hidden feelings ARE that way. I just have a lot to say, and usually I have deep ongoing conversations with myself in my head...I just wish I could motivate myself to log in and type those thoughts out here. It might be mostly boring, but sometimes it can get pretty interesting in there.

So, at least I can console myself that this time it has not been over a year since my last post. Is that sad or what, to congratulate myself on it only being 8 months?? Or, closer to 9 really but who's counting? But again, as last time, many things have happened over the last year.

First and foremost, our adoption is STILL not yet final. More snags, this time all to do with the state not having filed for my son's SSI back years ago when they should have. He is autistic, and was supposed to already have been approved for SSI, which automatically qualifies him for federal adoption assistance. Unfortunately, that never happened even though it was marked in his file that it did - and if you know anything about the government and disability, you know it takes forever (plus one day for good measure) to get anything approved as far as that is concerned. So we waited...and waited. Fortunately or unfortunately (you can look at it both ways), our 3 youngest have been in the foster system for 5 years as of November 9th, and once kids are in the system for a consecutive 5 year period, they automatically qualify for federal assistance. So on November 9th, we went ahead with the adoption without waiting for the SSI approval. We were worried that our promise of adoption in 2011 would once again prove to be untrue...but alas...with a wonderful caseworker and adoption attorney on our side - everything was pushed through VERY quickly, and we have our adoption hearing on December 9th!! It will be a VERY Merry Christmas this year! FINALLY! Our kids will legally be ours. No more monthly visits, no more different last names causing odd looks...FINALLY! My Facebook friends better watch out on December 9th, because that afternoon 2 years of memories I haven't been able to share with them, oh how they will be shared now (insert scary laugh here)!

Another thing I want to talk about is my dad's cancer. It's been a long road this year for my dad, but finally he is feeling better. Thank God above, he can enjoy -truly enjoy - the holidays this year. He is not feeling sick, in fact is feeling better than he has in a long time. This isn't due to some miracle cure, sadly, but at least a temporary miracle nonetheless. You see, he had a bone marrow transplant this summer. It was a hard process for him - I can't go into details because for one, it was so much a blur of scary but also...it's still hard to think about all he went through. But at any rate, it was done, weeks in the hospital and months afterward of feeling bad...but I am glad to say he is now in remission. We don't know how long, and quite frankly, I don't want to know. I just want to enjoy it. I won't forget about the cancer or the prognosis, it will still be there lurking in the back of my mind...but I think seeing my dad looking healthy and feeling good again - and happy because he's feeling good - will help me to not thing predominantly about the "C" word, and just be able to enjoy the time we spend with him.

Amidst all that was going on with my dad this summer, and actually WHILE he was in the hospital recovering from the bone marrow transplant, we lost a very special part of our family. My husband's grandmother, or Nonnie, as we called her. Words can't express what she meant to me and she deserves more than just a paragraph in this update, so I will save that conversation for later...but losing her has left a strikingly large hole in our lives.

Obviously there has been a lot more go on in the last year than those few things, but those are the "big" things that have weighed on my mind over the last year.

On a happier note, although I don't want to rush what is left of this year since we are now in the midst of my very favorite time of the year, I am looking forward to what I just know will be a FABULOUS year for my family. We already have many things in motion that will happen in 2012, and being that it is the first year we will start out as a full, complete family (legally anyway), I think that sets the tone for a year with good things on the horizon. I don't want to jinx myself, but it does look like (praise God!) financially things are going to be looking way, way up for us next year. There is also a vacation to Hawaii in the works...and I am hoping to be able to get back to discuss that more in depth later. It's something we're so excited about...the trip of a lifetime for us that has been a 'dream in the works' for over 14 years now.

So at that, I would love to say "stay tuned"...but I don't want to leave you hanging on promises that may not come to be. But hopefully, you will see a lot more from me in the coming year.

Love and peace,
Mariah

Posted in: Adoption, blogging, cancer, Death, Faith, Family, finances, Foster Care, Prayer, vacation on Tuesday, November 29, 2011 at at 7:51 AM 1 comments    

You thought I was gone right? Never to return. I'm sure you've seen it many times...a blogger who just can't find the time to write, eventually drifting off into the great unknown, all but forgotten by everyone.

Well, I have returned. I make no grand promises as to this blog of mine...I've made that mistake before. But I am still here. I do still have a lot to say. I just need to learn to take time for myself, so that I can say it.

Life has been crazy. Insane. A brief update...and then hopefully I'll be able to keep up from there. There were 2 major events since the last time I wrote. Not by a long shot all that has happened but the things that have most affected me, for sure.

In December of 2009, I wrote about how we had gone from a family of 3 to a family of 6 and that in the year 2010 our 3 "new" kids would be officially adopted and part of our forever family.

Well, our not-so-"new" kids are doing really well...we are all still adjusting to life with each other. That will be on-going I'm sure. But we are a family now, with all the bumps and bruises and hugs and kisses to prove it. Just not the paperwork. You see, although they were supposed to be adopted in 2010...they weren't. It just didn't happen...the boys (10 & 9) have a lot of issues, one has autism and one with a LOT of emotional problems. However, "for real" this time, they will be adopted in 2011. We are filing the paperwork this month, and although we were told it could take up to 5 months to finalize, they WILL be adopted this year. It will be nice to have things finalized, although to us, at this point it is just a piece of paper which will say what we already know.

The other thing that happened...is the hardest thing for me. I have still not dealt with all of my emotions surrounding this, and I think that is in part why I felt the strong urge to come back to my blog. I need to have somewhere to go, somewhere I can say how I truly feel without worrying about how someone else is going to take it. Almost 2 years ago, in April 2009, I wrote about how they had found a tumor in my dad's brain. How it wasn't cancerous. How we were all happy about that and were adjusting to life as it would be - with my dad having radiation treatments and then lifelong monitoring of his brain to be sure the tumor wasn't growing. The tumor shrunk and we all moved on, although it was "a new normal" for us. It made me realize the frailty of life, and the fact that my parents truly weren't going to be around forever.

This year that fact was hit home even harder, with a much more forceful awakening. My dad was diagnosed with Mantle Cell Lymphoma, a rare form of Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma which makes up only something like 5% of all cases. The VA has said that it is related to his exposure to Agent Orange in Vietnam. The life expectancy of MCL is only on average about 4 years, but it could be a few more or a few less. Nothing they can do will extend that, barring some new treatment becoming available in the next few years. This has been so hard to come to terms with. It's still hard to even think about, and I don't think the full realization of it has hit me yet. My dad is dying...and I can't even say those words out loud. It's hard enough just to type them without backspacing and erasing them from the page. As though it would erase them from being true...I wish it would. I wish there was a backspace key so I could edit that stupid disease from my dad's body. But for now, until some brilliant scientist comes up with a medical backspace key that will save my dad...I am going to have to learn to enjoy every day I have left with him and make the most of it. I don't necessarily think I've taken my family for granted a lot...but this has shown me that every day with them is precious. You may think you have all the time in the world with someone, but you just don't. You just never know when some tragedy will take away someone - it could be a cancer diagnosis that might give them a few years, or a car wreck that will take them away tomorrow. Hold the people you love tightly, let them know they love you every day. That is the lesson I'm learning, I just wish it wasn't such a tough one.

Until next time...Love,
Mariah

Posted in: Adoption, blogging, Death, Family, Foster Care, Prayer on Friday, February 4, 2011 at at 1:05 PM 2 comments    

I sit here at my computer, thinking about my blog and realizing it was almost this exact same time last year that I thought starting a blog back up was a great idea. Now here it is...a year later...and I've made a seriously pathetic number of posts so far. I started this blog as a way to remind myself to be motivated, be creative, be inspired...maybe even to help keep my goals. I still want this blog to represent that...and everything about life that I love so much - God, family, home, writing, crafting - living my life to the fullest. Enjoying every moment and hoping that I make the people in my circle feel as blessed as they make me feel.

There are reasons...or excuses...as to why I have neglected to post - we really have had a very busy and very productive (!) year. We went from a family of 3 to a family of 6 almost overnight. That all started about mid-year...right after we were licensed to be foster parents. We started on the fostering journey thinking eventually we might adopt a child, maybe even two that came into our care along the way. That all changed pretty suddenly when 3 little blessings came our way, and the only way I can describe how it all happened is that it was meant to be...pre-destined, pre-determined...God's plan for our life. Everything that happend was simply too unbelievable, too coincidental to have happened by some happy accident. These 3 kids were meant to become a part of our family, from the very beginning...all roads have led us here. I know this. So...now our happy little family of 3 is a happier, larger (and of course, busier) family of 6. The 4 kids we always dreamed of but knew we could never have...well now we have them. Life is good, God is amazing.

So now, here I am...seemingly back to where I started. Right after Christmas, vowing next Christmas I will be more prepared, ready ahead of time and have made most of our family gifts. That didn't happen for this Christmas - but I am even more determined than ever to make that happen next Christmas. I realized this Christmas just how hectic it is and how fast it goes with 4 kids...so much faster than it went with just our daughter. I think I took for granted her first 11 Christmases, the calm, the time we were able to spend together just enjoying the season. Things sure went differently between work, therapy appointments, doctor appointments, shopping for more gifts than I've ever imagined buying for one occassion. And although next year we will also be busy, decidedly so, at Christmas...that is pushing me even more to vow that I will be 95% ready for Christmas by December 1st (5% reserved for baking which can't really be done that far in advance, haha). The reason we need to be ready so early? Because over the week of Christmas, to celebrate the first Christmas after finalizing the adoptions, we will be on a family vacation to Disney World! I am so excited about that...and want everything to go smoothly. The first 5 days of vacation will be spent at the parks, and the last 2 relaxing and enjoying each other. We plan to drive to the coast and spend Christmas Eve watching the sun set over the Gulf. So you see...I really do need to be more organized, more productive and more prepared for 2010. I have set several goals and I am hoping that I can see most of them to fruition.

Goals for 2010
Lose 5lbs (or more) per month
Continue to pay down debt
Save for and plan Disney Christmas Vacation
Work on Christmas gifts for 1 'family' ('family' here means any set group of people, ie teachers) on our list each month
Have all Christmas gifts made or bought by December 1, 2010

I will have to get creative and really push myself to make sure I meet these goals...usually I rely heavily on home-made goodies (candies, cookies, etc) as gifts for friends, family and teachers - however having to have all things made by December 1st that really will limit food gifts this year. I will still probably do a few things but I want December to mainly be un-scheduled and un-stressful, so I won't be doing very many food-gifts at all. I have come up with a few ideas though - I have a really neat idea for my Sister in Law and her husband...a "Family Scrabble Board" where you take and alter a scrabble board with scrapbooking supplies and use the tiles to spell out their names, and words that symbolize 'family'. I think it will be really neat. I also found an idea for altering Starbucks 4-pack Frap bottles...you can do so many things using scrapbooking supplies and a little paint and ribbon, they turn out so cute. I have seen ideas for hot cocoa gift sets using those (two bottles filled with hot cocoa mix, one with marshmallows, and one with peppermints) which is something I'm definitely planning on doing...the only thing I would have to do *after* December 1st on those would be add the marshmallows (wouldn't want to add them too early and have them get stale or clumpy...eww). I also make a killer chai tea mix so I am thinking I could come up with some ideas along those lines also, just have to figure out what to package with it. Maybe just some festive store-bought christmas candies? The one other idea I am excited about is making fleece pajama pants. I am definitely making them for my 4 kids, my SIL's 4 kids and also my cousins 3 kids. I might even think about making them for some adults on our list. I have tons of ideas saved in a folder in my e-mail, so I will be going through those over the next month or so to see if there are any good things to add to my list also. I'm pretty excited about this right now...I just hope that I can stay this excited/motivated about it! If I can, then I'm sure I will be more than ready for Christmas 2010 and our Disney Vacation well ahead of my December 1st goal :)

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. For me, although hectic and crazy, and except for a few not-so-great moments, it was one of the most wonderful Christmases yet.

God Bless and have a happy and SAFE New Year!
Mariah

Posted in: Adoption, Being Frugal, blogging, Budgeting, christmas, Faith, Family, Foster Care, friends, holidays, Prayer, Shopping, vacation on Monday, December 28, 2009 at at 8:47 AM 0 comments    

Big things are happening right now, but I don't want to jinx myself by saying too much. Let's just say that perhaps some day soon our house might be getting a whole lot noisier...

Stay Tuned!

Love,
Mariah

Posted in: Adoption, Faith, Family, Foster Care, Prayer on Tuesday, September 15, 2009 at at 1:02 PM 0 comments    

Obviously there has been a lack of activity on this blog for a while. It isn't that I have nothing to say - I have a lot to say...just very little time lately in which to say it.

I don't want to jinx myself by saying too much...but things are looking interesting on the foster/adoption front :) We are approved, and have been contacted about a sibling group that is up for adoption...we should know more in a week or so (I hope)!

On all other fronts, it's summer - so of course life is busy :) Weekends have been full of family, friends and lots of fun...weekdays have been full of work, work and more work (and a little fun thrown in for good measure!). Getting ready for school to start up again, getting the foster room finished...which it almost is! The interior is completely drywalled, taped & mudded...it's just waiting for a coat of primer and then paint. I am hoping to get to that Sunday (we'll be out of town this weekend, visiting the sibling-in-laws for my nephew(aka baked bean)'s birthday. My neices and nephews are all beans :) There's Kidney Bean, Baked Bean, String Bean and Pinto Bean, and they all fit their bean nicknames quite well in their own little way :) My sweet beans ;)

Speaking of the siblings-in-law...or my brothers sister & family if you rather...we have decided recently that we are going to take our 2 families on a Magical Family Christmas Vacation in 2010! Where, you ask? Well, of course, the only place magical enough to spend Christmas away from home - Disney World!! So, lookout Magic Kingdom...we'll be invading your village in about 16 months...give or take a few weeks :) Color me excited! I have already started perusing the Disboards, and creating our trip planning binder. Oh, and of course, getting some great tips on saving money for Disney over at Couponing to Disney! She's amazing!! So far our family has about $35 in savings so far (saving our change only) for the World...not too shabby considering we still have almost a year and a half to go - and that we're not 'officially' starting the saving until next year!

Ok - I think that's all for now! See ya real soon :)
Mariah

Posted in: Adoption, Being Frugal, Budgeting, christmas, Family, Foster Care, holidays, vacation on Thursday, August 6, 2009 at at 12:14 PM 0 comments    

A few days ago, a friend of mine lent me a book titled "Have a New Kid by Friday", by Dr. Kevin Leman. She had been having some issues with her son, and her mother-in-law bought her the book. She read through it and although she wasn't so keen on the idea of her mother-in-law buying her a parenting book she thought it made sense and said she immediately started seeing a difference in her son's behavior when she started implementing the tools learned with the book. I asked her if I could borrow it, not because we'd been having any major issues with our daughter like she'd been having with her son - but more because we'd been having some small issues (lying, mouthiness, vanity issues, etc) that I am afraid could turn into big issues if we don't handle them now…and the methods we have been using thus far have not been working (grounding, lecturing, etc.). She has always been an extremely good kid, and that I’m thankful for - so I really truly don’t want a “new kid” - but a little help in how to deal with the changes she’s going through would be good.

If it works like it says it will, I would also like to start implementing it now so that when we do have foster children come into our home we already have methods we are comfortable with, and in agreement on, in place to deal with anything that might come up. It might help some of the transitional issues that come along with fostering if this book is as good as all the reviews I’ve read say it is.

So I already read the book once through, quickly the first time - it was easy to read and actually was very interesting and hard to put down. Maybe I can learn a few skills to make me a better parent…not that I am a bad one by any means - but I do wish I would be able to handle some situations better than I currently do. And the book explains, and I agree, that a child’s behavioral “issues” are more a parents issues in not knowing how to deal with misbehavior. Children learn what they live, right? I have always believed that…yet I find myself so upset with my daughter when she is stubborn or when she thinks she’s ‘always right’. However, thought it might have been a fleeting thought before - this book has made it abundantly clear that she gets some of those things from me. She gets a few things from her father, too. We both have realized after talking about the book - even before implementing any changes - that we need to change our OWN attitudes, behaviors and responses so that she can learn new attitudes, behaviors and responses. Hopefully this book has given us the tools to do that.

Anyway…it’s Monday…a new week, and since the book doles out its chapters by days of the week - I am going to start re-reading it, along with my husband, on the car ride home from work - one chapter per day of the week. That way we can start using each step and each tool on a daily basis as we learn them. I don’t know if it will create a new kid - or new parents - by Friday…but I do have faith that it can work if we are consistent and follow the steps, because they do make sense. I have read about so many people who have had an incredible turn-around in their families by following the steps in this book. So we are starting today. I am writing about it because I consider our family a ‘typical’ every-day family - and if we can do this, if it works for us, than I am convinced it can work for anyone who sets their mind to it. If it doesn’t, well I want to share that too, so that if it happens to not work for someone else maybe they’ll know they’re not the only dark spot among the multitude of glowing reviews.

I am hoping to post daily with an update as to how the previous day went…what went wrong, what went right, etc. By the end of the week…I will blog about how I feel about the book after trying it out for a week…hopefully my review and results will be as astounding as the others I have read! So here we go…our little parenting experiment. It seems funny to be trying to change my parenting style when my child is almost 12, but it’s never too late right?

God Bless,
Mariah

Posted in: Adoption, Faith, Family, Foster Care on Monday, June 15, 2009 at at 12:10 PM 0 comments    

I should have known, before I hit "post" yesterday. I was having a down day, I really was. My faith was being overshadowed by doubt. I should have known better. I am still learning.

Today we called the Vet to see how much it would be to get the cats shots up-to-date. While my husband called, he also asked (for future information) how much getting them fixed would be. They gave him a quote, plus the quote to get their shots up-to-date. It really wasn't that much more (when you figure in separate office visits, etc.) to have it all done at once...but when my husband explained that we really could only afford to do the shots right now, what was *truly* necessary, the lady told him she could try to approve us for a Care Credit account. Now, I realize, putting vet/medical bills on a credit account is probably not the best idea - BUT, we were approved, and were approved for 0% interest as long as it's paid off within a certain number of months (which it would be). So, the cats are taken care of - one thing checked off the to-do list before turning in our application. The only other real obstacle in getting the paperwork turned in of course would be our physicals...which is now not an obstacle either because while perusing Care Credit's homepage - I see that there are doctors in our area that take it also.

So- although it isn't normally something I would do - putting medical bills onto a credit account, the 0% interest really makes all the difference. This way instead of putting our application on hold until we build up the money in our savings (we just started having $100/month direct deposited into our savings account), we can get it taken care of now and still pay it off with the money in the savings account...so I'm looking at it as essentially the same thing, however with a big bonus in that it won't delay our application process.

Now all we have to worry about is getting the Foster Home Fund built up so we can turn our loft area into a bedroom, but at least we have a little more time for that (I was told that it didn't matter in our state if it was officially a bedroom or not - so if that's true, while I still plan on turning it into a "real" bedroom, we can go ahead and get our license and everything before it's officially "completed"). I am still hoping however that we can sell those concert tickets and frame out/drywall the room before the end of May. That would be a big weight off of my mind!

Until next time - God Bless :)
Mariah

Posted in: Adoption, Budgeting, Faith, Family, Foster Care, Prayer on Wednesday, March 25, 2009 at at 12:21 PM 0 comments    

While filling out the forms in our referral packet - I discovered that all 3 of us will need to make Doctor appointments for wellness physicals. Normally, not such a big deal right? But, when you have no health insurance (long story), then it becomes a bigger deal. When you have no health insurance and are already tight on cash-flow - it becomes a slightly bigger deal. All in all it looks like it will cost us up to $450 for all 3 of us to get the physicals. I should have known that we would need this...I really should have. But when I saw "Medical Information Form" or whatever it said...I really assumed it would just be a family medical history we'd have to fill out.

We also are going to need to get our 2 cats to the vet to get their shots, as this needs to be done before the homestudy too. I haven't added that to our Foster Fund info at the bottom because right now, I don't have a clue how much that will be.

I am starting to wonder if we should have put this off (or if we still should put this off) until we A) have insurance and B) have more of this stuff actually at some stage of completion. I really didn't want to delay the classes and the homestudy but unless we can get some things on Ebay and sold soon, we may have no choice. Even more, I am wondering if all of these obstacles and roadblocks are popping up as a sign that we shouldn't be doing this, or if they're just part of a test that we need to pass to prove to ourselves that we can do it if we put our minds to it. I just feel we've come too far emotionally (it took so much for us to cross the bridge from *thinking* about fostering to making the decision to *do* it) to just throw in the towel. Plus, that seems like it would be such a totally selfish decision.

When it comes down to it, I think what we need right now is prayer, and a lot of it!

Until next time -
Mariah

Posted in: Adoption, Budgeting, Family, Foster Care on Tuesday, March 24, 2009 at at 12:15 PM 0 comments    

Well, we finally did get in touch with our caseworker, and made an appointment to go in and get set up for fingerprinting. We were there on time, she was not. We gave her our drivers licenses to copy, but then she couldn't get her computer to work so she said she'd have to do it later and mail us the paperwork (I guess they send us a scan-code which we take to a location that does our fingerprints). That was almost 2 weeks ago...no paperwork in the mail. I have to call her tomorrow to find out what is up with this.

On the upside, we did get our referral packet to the agency we will be working through. WOW...there is a lot of information to fill out. We are planning to work on that this weekend. We also already scheduled our fostering classes through them - set up for the first 3 Saturdays in May - we are on our way!! It's very exciting...but at the same time it's a little scary how fast things seem to be moving now that the larger agency has received our referral. We have to turn our loft area upstairs into a bedroom. It's an open loft right now, so we have to build a wall, and add a closet and a door. This is what it looked like the weekend after we moved in (my daughters bed and vanity were moved to her room after we painted her bedroom):



Like it is for many people, our money is tight right now. But we aren't planning on letting that deter our decision to become a foster family. We feel that since we finally have a home, we are ready to open that home to children in need and want to be able to do that as soon as possible. Without putting ourselves into hock and going into debt doing it, that is. So...right now our plans to fund the project, as well as purchase the other items we will need like beds, bedding, toys, etc., consist of a few different things (these are things we plan to do specifically to raise money for the things we need to do - in addition to just saving any extra money we can).

1) Grocery savings - we'll be putting back the money we save using coupons for our weekly grocery trips. Any amount under our normal weekly budget that we save is going into our "foster-home remodeling project" fund. For instance, our normal grocery budget is $60...if by using coupons we end up only spending $40, then $20 goes into the fund.

2) Ebay - we are going to be listing a bunch of items that we've outgrown or can no longer use on ebay. We'll also be listing any items we get as donations to list on Ebay (my mom is quite fond of finding stuff for me to list on Ebay and then refusing the money...so for now, when she gives us something to list I won't argue with her about that!). All of the proceeds from those auctions are going to go into the fund as well. To jump start our fund, we decided to take a gamble and purchase 4 concert tickets to Keith Urban and Taylor Swift that is coming up in June. They are great seats, and we spent about $400 on the 4 of them...my hope is to double that (the combo in concert seems to be pretty popular, and it is already sold out - so here's hoping someone wants to pay a premium for great seats), however if we make any profit at all it will of course be helpful. We figure the worst thing that can happen is we recoup our money and put that towards the fund - so it's really a no lose situation as long as we can sell them.

3) Garage Sale - The first weekend in June, our town has it's annual festival and along with that there are yard sales galore. In fact that might be the biggest attraction of the festival for some people. There are always lots of people out looking for a bargain. Our hope is to have the room finished (or at least funded and partially finished) by then, however hopefully we can sell enough to buy any items that we need such as furnishings or bedding that we haven't already aquired. We figure it will be a good time to sell any items we have that are too large to list on Ebay, or just aren't Ebay-friendly items, or any items that don't sell on Ebay after relisting one time.

I am going to try to set up a widget on my page that I can update with our goals, estimated costs, and to-date savings and goals met. We'll see if I can figure that one out - but don't hold your breath!

Love,
Mariah

Posted in: Adoption, Budgeting, decorating, Family, Foster Care on Thursday, March 12, 2009 at at 7:02 PM 0 comments    

Man...I did not realize how hard it would be to get motivated to write again. I really want to write, I love to write...but when I had my last blog it was so much easier. Probably because I did not work, and now I have a stressful job (where I sit at a computer all day). I am tired when I get home...and the last thing I want to do is sit at a computer again. Maybe I need to not be so hard on myself and not expect to feel like writing more than once a week. I mean, it's not like I have a Blogger Boss expecting a 3 paragraph post each day by 5 or I'm fired...right?

I do have a lot to talk about...a lot has been on my mind. We have finally started the foster-to-adopt process. Well, at least - I think we have. We received our background check paperwork in the mail, filled it all out, and returned it to the DCFS receptionist who assured me she would get it to our caseworker. That was Friday the 13th...hmmm...now that I say it maybe that was a bad omen. I haven't heard a word since. Also I might mention that in the envelope with the background paperwork we had to fill out there were no instructions concerning what to do with it. So I just assumed we were to give it back to them. Maybe I was wrong. I might know the answer to that if our caseworker wold return any of the 3 messages I left, or answer the phone any of the hundred or so times I have tried to call and not left a message.

We are new at this, and have no idea how the process works really. I feel like there MUST be something we should be doing at this point...but nobody who knows what we should be doing knows what THEY should be doing (which is being a little more helpful with newbies to the foster world). Granted, I know they are busy. But, so am I. I am an accountant in the RV industry, which if you haven't heard isn't doing so hot...and we are on skeleton crew. I am now doing the job that at least 2 people used to do in a minimum of 80 hours a week...and I have to get it done in 40. So I do know a little about being busy. But I also know if I didn't return calls of new dealers who wanted to do business with us, we would lose those new dealers as they become frustrated with not getting return calls. The same could probably also be said of Foster Care. I have only been officially in the process for about a week and a half, but already I can truly imagine that the frustration of never being able to talk to anyone or get any answers might drive people to just say "forget it". I am not one of those people...I will soldier on. I will be patient. I just wish there could be an easier way. Maybe I should quit the RV industry and go to work for the Foster system...they seem to need the help.

Well...more later (I didn't say *when* later...haha)...I have a phone call to make :)

Love,
Mariah

Posted in: Adoption, blogging, Foster Care on Tuesday, February 24, 2009 at at 12:46 PM 0 comments